HOW TO MAKE THE MUNDANE MOMENTS OF YOUR DAY FEEL MORE SIGNIFICANT

An Instruction Manual

For the everyday person wishing to add a dash of the bohemian into their lives.

Why YOU Cannot Be Without This Manual               ^!

No matter how significant a person you feel you are, you will undoubtedly be pedestrian. It is a statistical fact that at any one moment, even if you project the most fantastical of personas, you run the hazardous risk of mundanity.

 No-one wants to get caught looking mundane, believe you me, and they will always catch a glimpse and will be cast asunder.

Mundanity is an action, more specifically a dull or anaesthetically pleasing one.

For example sleeping in peculiarly unseemly, the laying on the back, the amplification of your gurgling mucous through the nostrils. Activities in the lavatory is another.

Shopping!

Shopping is the sterilized conclusion of the hunter-gatherer.

Ladies and gentlemen your fabulousness has been castrated by a clawed, winged and fanged beast SOCIETY! But you can be saved, saved from this, if you heed the words of this instruction manual closely.

Original thought has never been fashionable, emulating others that have gone before you is the key, they are the tried and tested method, the theorem.

MORNING ARRANGEMENTS

The morning routine has become a chore. One that is rushed in favour of more lack of consciousness,

Socrates Saw the benefits of cheated the world of giving himself to it exclusively, in his prime, he managed to sleep twenty hours a day. In the modern world we oversleep on a regular basis, 

but how did this great thinker overcome the mundane aspect of his persona to the outside world.

THE SOCRATIC SLEEP FUNNEL[1]

For the ones that like to sleep more than their fair share, it is immediately important to say you are not oversleeping, you are to say you are part of an open consciousness, sometimes one desires no consciousness for a time. One can have one’s Madera cake and eat it by not being conscious and still contributing to the outside world. The Socratic Sleep Funnel is a plastic sleep-aid cone developed from the conch-shell Socrates held over his face whilst sleeping, his breathing would ‘aggravate’ the holes of the conch-shell and discordant sounds would emit, sometimes forming a pattern. Early dream analysis formed when the differing pitches of sounds or in the Latin: EX DUMO ES SNORPO; a primitive Morse-code, the sub-conscious communicating with the conscious world.  No longer screaming or drowning in its own face.

To create your own Sleep Funnel you will need

1.                A Hard Plastic Sheet. (^A4)

2.                A Hole-Punch

3.                String.

1.                TAKE THE HARD PLASTIC SHEET AND MAKE 16 HOLES IN THIS PATTERN:

2.    WRAP IT UP LIKE A CONE

3.ADD STRINGS

4. ATTACH IT TO YOUR FACE 

5.  SLEEP  AND YOUR SNOOZE-NOISES WILL BECOME EX DUMO

THERE ARE TWO DISTINCT SOUNDS YOUR SLEEPING FACE MAKES WHEN TRANMITTED THROUGH THE PLASTIC-CONCH. WHICH WILL BE REFERRED TO AS SYMBOLS IN THIS MANUAL[2]

   

    f g

 A CONVERSATION BETWEEN Two Subconscious.... JUNGS COLLECTIVE  UNCONSIOUS TO THE ‘WORLD-MIND’ OF FRENCH.... THE SOCRATIC FUNNEL MAY LEAD TO MASS COMMICATION OF THE SLEEPING WORLD. ORANGE AND T-MOBILE HAVE BEEN IN TALKS TO CREATE THE FIRST MOBILE PHONE YOU CAN USE IN YOUR SLEEP.

                               ^Joan Of Arc’s  

MORNING ROUTINE

Imagine what it is like to have the voice of God in your head as you do your morning routine, for this we acquire the use of tape-recorder. An actor of some gravitas to orate and narrate your morning process. this brings an element of urgency and divine importance to the proceedings. When in a loud booming voice comes “LET THERE BE LIGHT” as sun-rises, “GO FORTH NIGEL FROM STOCKPORT, TAKE THOSE HALLOWED FEET ACROSS THE SHAG-CARPETTING, TO THE BATHROOM. WASH YOUR SINS CLEAN, EMERGE RENEWED. PERFORM THE SACRIFICE OF THE MONOBROW AND THE SLOOSH OF THE INCISOR. PREPARE FOR THE FEAST OF THE RICE KRISPIE AND THE EUROSHOPPERCOFFEE AND THE GONE-OFF SKIMMED MILK’  (All Eyes on Joan (!946) by Meyrick Stapleglass) 

AFTERNOON ARRANGEMENTS

Consumerism has become the most mundane activity for the everyday person, that, and idle conversation this is how a majority of peoples existences are wasted, here is how to cure the two:

CONSUMERISM

                             FALLS INTO

      TWO CATEGORIES, OUTLINED

  BELOW

                        SHOPPING

                        EATING

                        (There is no third category)

  Samuel Pepys

With a novel way of getting the shopping done...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHH here is a new found fragment from Pepys’s London Diary.

Went out early, for the absence of my wife, by no instruction of leaving for that of maid, nor, servant, nor housekeep, nor Cook, it was I to London, to abate the supplication of the larder for the first in many a year. In my way met with Jennings, at an alehouse, where he showed me the device of a stick that cooled the brows of Poxy children, and indeed it was most fascinating. Jennings provided an admirable discourse on the problem of paying for the scullery. He posited slugs of drink to numb the process and render it a pleasure. Betimes came pints of wine then tinctures of a viscous balm, its derivation we knew not of, that made our heels light, we did float upon them to Market. Our hexed countenance took us along, all manner of vegetable, cheese, mineral, herbs were purchased no mind given to purported their purpose. Our curious manner overwhelmed patrons with our tempered ways. Thence we feasted upon onions from the boxes of goods as the cart took us to Westminster cooing the fermented songbirds we were.

You feel that the preceding text was mere frippery but I assure you that if you follow this manual in thought and spirit, that you unleash your minds to the restorative power of imagination you will find that you will transcend mundanity

F

[1] See video projection of ‘The Leamington Spa Solution’ where the Socratic Funnel was tested on Narcoleptics around the county in 2006

[2] Play recording of different noises the Socratic Funnel transmits whilst sleeping. Note that noises from infants and Welsh can vary hugely.

"No, Morlock, No!"

 The 'Sunday Scribblings' stuff about 'VIEW' is at the bottom, after the preamble waffly stuff :)

In an attempt to get out of the Blog-cliche of the diarists waffle, I endevoured to pursue an ordinary 'Umbrella Subject' again... and failing to think of anything... or be told by someone else (suggestions always gratefully welcome)....

...When I was younger and much more commited to Nihilism, I used to imagine that in the future there would be a machine (in my head a whirry steam-punk one) that would be able to work out every single permatation of the ordering of words, in terms of literature. (The natural conclusion to that 'if you had 100 monkey's bashing out at a 100 typewriter's, eventually you'd get War & Peace'...) so this machine would renders writer's not only obsolete, but entirely pointless, because all the books/poems/songs/plays/opera's; so on and so forth, would all have been written; a somewhat depressing thought - but really it's my 2-dimensional mind making sense of the fact that WORDS aren't ours and they can be put in a particular order by computations in a way, perhaps in an exremely complicated way... if it's looked at another way, perhaps its to assess the relation of the Author to his or her particular words.... That's why I am just as fascinated by 'the narrative of the author themself' more than the actual work sometimes....

ALL THIS PREAMBLE was leading into something, oh yes, 'Random Subject Generator'; I found all these prompts and stuff to give you idea's and subjects to write about... I suppose it's much 'safer' than just writing about ANYTHING, although 'write the first subject that comes into your head' thing, is 'dangerous' as the likliest thing that will pop into your head is something criminal/secret/perverted.... the 'template' method is nice, because there is a supposed space for you to fill out 'your little bit', right back to tracing your chunky pencil over the dotted lines that formed the letter 'a' back at nursery...

I wanted to share a little link for Guerrila Artist Keri Smith and her wonderful and brilliant ways she gets people to generate and more importantly spread ideas into our natural envirionment as a creative antidote to capitalism and advertising.http://www.kerismith.com/


 AM GETTING TO IT...right, well now, I found through the GOOGLESPHERE, 'sunday scribblings' which comes up with 'prompty' stuff for you to write about, so lets do that....

Er...hem....

Well, here it is then....

The prompt this week is: view.  What's the view from your window?  What's your view on life?  On the current world situation? What's the best view you have ever seen?  Had?  What's your dream view?  Have you expressed your views?

 
It's hard to appreciate 'views' of any kind when your young, and as most of my experience has been 'juvenile' it's  relatively new experience to just 'take in a view', it's very much wrapped up in 'the moment' something one is always chasing after.... but being an ANGSTY type, alluded more often than not... unfortunately I do not have a good view from my TEMPORARY bedroom window, it looks out onto the neigbours rather bland minimalist garden, the bland canvas slab with a tiny window, of another neigbours back wall (distracted by the fact I can't spell neighbours but am not going to check...)  but you can just see over the fence and down the little side road and last night at about 1am there was some screeching, and two rather cumbersome arguesome types were waddling home drunk cattawalling, and I got a distinct silohette of a skinheaded male with cruthes and a slapper in a miniskirt and I felt all suburban twitchy-curtain, was shashing...

Views on life, tsk! Now this holds no odds, because I just can't have a fixed one, I have an ABSURDIST's view on life and a blank scientific explanation based on what is self-evident or the most 'tidy'... we are carbon-based lifeforms on a little rock in the solar system, in a galaxy on the outer-arm of the milky-way, in terms of scale of meaning of a lives in the sense of the transitory, the millimetric strip of time o our existence as an individual... A great line in waiting for godot goes 'we are born and we die in the same second'.... beyond this on the sense of self and personality blah blah blah.... the brain is swirling chemicals and this gives us an illusion of free-will; an over simplification, but a nice sledgehammer bleak one in the face of the chaos of the world at large - all this STUFF THAT GOES ON, is bonus, is filler.... although I do beleive in 'the eternal mystery of the human heart'....

The current world situation... it's easy to fall into that 'New World Order' conspiracy bullshit, or the idea of World War III (which I saw that Philip K. Dick was obsessed with) but yes, I do find the representation the West has of the East and visa versa, and it's very silly, although you get down to the grass-roots level and its unavoidable, all I try to do is contribute when I can concentrate on charities, and such, but this veneer of 'society' may just GO at any time, must be prepared for that....  yes, I am nt blinkered to the terror's of the world but yet it's sudden precariousness and uncaring ability for it all to be smushed up....(I am a shoe-in for the U.N. job now ;))

The best view I've ever seen; (Brain scan); I'm going through all those hills and countryside views, the shadows of clouds on meadows once filled me with an indescribable feeling of warmth....

This whole doubling up the meaning of expressing of views has become tiresome... as I am sure it has to anyone (Patty) reading it ;)

Praise the Lord, and pass me the ammunition.