EVIL

Hello, hello, hello.

Me and the fella were discussing things last night, whilst in my exhausted and shall we say, vaguely inebriated, state, the subject of morality unwittingly raised its ugly head, and with it that bizzarest of notions 'Evil'. After the standard ranting and pontificating about certain people, places and indeed objects were mentioned, it sort of floundered... but, as you know, I am one ready to burn a wick long after the wax has all dribbled away (that's not a reference to DILF loving or anything).

Where does one go to find philosophical discourse bound up in one nice, easy to use package. Ah, yes, Wikipedia, the shame of it. Although you think that's shaming, I am actually considering buying 'The Bluffers Guide To Quantum Physics', to hold my own in those ever pervasive conversations about the very fabric of reality, light and space-time dimensions. I am awash with the space-time dimensions I am really.

By only concept of 'Evil' in the past, took the form of Jung's Shadow, as my lovely G.P. used to explain, that there is evil in all of us, but we don't accept it, we only accept it by transfering it to others, a rather astute observation to make to someone deep in the throws of a severe depressive episode, but what of it. But, heigh ho, the plot thickens, when research, by EMINENT psychologists come along, not just your hokum, run of the mill fuckers, but a full boner-fide(l castro) one, complete with gizmos and pie-charts and such, well this one that's been lifted striaght from the page by a guy called Peck;

• Is consistently self-deceiving, with the intent of avoiding guilt and maintaining a self-image of perfection
• Deceives others as a consequence of their own self-deception
• Projects his or her evils and sins onto very specific targets, scapegoating others while appearing normal with everyone else ("their insensitivity toward him was selective") 
• Commonly hates with the pretense of love, for the purposes of self-deception as much as deception of others
• Abuses political (emotional) power ("the imposition of one's will upon others by overt or covert coercion")
• Maintains a high level of respectability and lies incessantly in order to do so
• Is consistent in his or her sins. Evil persons are characterized not so much by the magnitude of their sins, but by their consistency (of destructiveness)
• Is unable to think from the viewpoint of their victim
• Has a covert intolerance to criticism and other forms of narcissistic injury.

Now one wishes one could (stop using the term 'one' to describe oneself) memorise this little piece of scribe to utilize when in conversation with oh, I dunno, twats who waffle on about moralistic integrity and then show none of the results; one can really sterilise the argument this way, and as I am sure we're all agreed on sterilization is a wonderful thing.

My mantra, when posed with the subject of MORALS in relation to EVIL, is that of THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS; and that is an EVIL THOUGHT is fine expressed but in relation to commiting ACTION it is not, to be homophobic is one thing, to insight a murder on the basis of homophobia is quite another... and so it goes on.... and you may (not bother to) ask, where do I stand on this Hulabaloo. Well my favourite quote is

                                          "all it will take for evil to provail is for good people to do nothing"

And it is inherent in society now, an apethic, 'I don't want to get involved' 'there is no such thing as society' mentality that makes me sick. I have arrived at a perplexing conclusion; I see things that we see that are unjust, but I used to say things out loud because I wasn't aware of the possible/negligable reactions to said things... i.e. getting beaten up or losing friends etc. and many thousand other outcomes from being so-called 'outspoken', but my family were very quick to point out that by saying what you think is bad and could end you up in trouble, because as a pre-pubescent I went so against the grain of the 'norm' of society. Now I've spent many years in the wilderness, pootering about, not getting involved, but slowly this RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, as it were, is surfacing like thick viscous citadel of aggressive, argumentative thought growing from the centre of my brain, soon it will pierce through my skull and right through your eye, bitch!

LAST PARAGRAPH: 

I will leave you with two dollops of hope to carry you through to the next seven days. 1. Signing petitions like ones at avaaz.org or amnestyinternational.org  or number10.gov work! = and all you need to do is give an e-mail address and your name, not much to saved lives or bring about a change, look at Julian Assange, his efforts have contributed to a regime change in Tunisia which in turn may cause a domino effect in the Middle-East of people rising up against the leaders that oppress them, a tide not seen since The Fall Of The Berlin Wall in 1989. So whether it's leaking 100'000's of private political cables or signing a petition for cats to get free flea collars, it all goes around and makes it all... who knows a little less evil.
Secondly, I had a brush with 'saying something or not' when I got this circular e-mail from a friend who I actually liked and knew was a free spirit I couldn't understand why she would send me this horrible e-mail:


  (THANKS MATT FOR MAKING ME WORRY THAT EVERYONE WILL THINK I AM SOME SORT OF ISLAMAPHOBE WHEN I AINT!) IN GREEN ISN'T ME!!! GOOD YEAH MATT!

ALL EUROPEAN LIFE DIED IN AUSCHWITZ


The following is a copy of an article written by Spanish writer Sebastian Vilar Rodriguez and published in a Spanish newspaper on Jan. 15, 2008. It doesn't take much imagination to extrapolate the message to the rest of Europe - and possibly to the rest of the world.


REMEMBER AS YOU READ -- IT WAS IN A SPANISH PAPER
Date: Tue. 15 January 2008 14:30

ALL EUROPEAN LIFE DIED IN AUSCHWITZ By Sebastian Vilar Rodrigez

I walked down the street in Barcelona , and suddenly discovered a terrible truth - Europe died in Auschwitz .. We killed six million Jews and replaced them with 20 million Muslims. In Auschwitz we burned a culture, thought, creativity, talent. We destroyed the chosen people, truly chosen, because they produced great and wonderful people who changed the world.

The contribution of this people is felt in all areas of life: science, art, international trade, and above all, as the conscience of the world.. These are the people we burned.

And under the pretense of tolerance, and because we wanted to prove to ourselves that we were cured of the disease of racism, we opened our gates to 20 million Muslims, who brought us stupidity and ignorance, religious extremism and lack of tolerance, crime and poverty, due to an unwillingness to work and support their families with pride.

They have blown up our trains and turned our beautiful Spanish cities into the third world, drowning in filth and crime.

Shut up in the apartments they receive free from the government, they plan the murder and destruction of their naive hosts.

And thus, in our misery, we have exchanged culture for fanatical hatred, creative skill for destructive skill, intelligence for backwardness and superstition.

We have exchanged the pursuit of peace of the Jews of Europe and their talent for a better future for their children, their determined clinging to life because life is holy, for those who pursue death, for people consumed by the desire for death for themselves and others, for our children and theirs.

What a terrible mistake was made by miserable Europe .....
***********************************
 

The Global Islamic population is approximately 1,200,000,000; that is ONE BILLION TWO HUNDRED MILLION or 20% of the world's population. They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1988 - Najib Mahfooz

Peace:
1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat
1990 - Elias James Corey
1994 - Yaser Arafat:
1999 - Ahmed Zewai

Economics:
(zero)

Physics:
(zero)

Medicine:
1960 - Peter Brian Medawar
1998 - Ferid Mourad

TOTAL: 7 SEVEN

The Global Jewish population is approximately 14,000,000; that is FOURTEEN MILLION or about 0.02% of the world's population. They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1910 - Paul Heyse
1927 - Henri Bergson
1958 - Boris Pasternak
1966 - Shmuel Yosef Agnon
1966 - Nelly Sachs
1976 - Saul Bellow
1978 - Isaac Bashevis Singer
1981 - Elias Canetti
1987 - Joseph Brodsky
1991 - Nadine Gordimer World

Peace:
1911 - Alfred Fried
1911 - Tobias Michael Carel Asser
1968 - Rene Cassin
1973 - Henry Kissinger
1978 - Menachem Begin
1986 - Elie Wiesel
1994 - Shimon Peres
1994 - Yitzhak Rabin

Physics:
1905 - Adolph Von Baeyer
1906 - Henri Moissan
1907 - Albert Abraham Michelson
1908 - Gabriel Lippmann
1910 - Otto Wallach
1915 - Richard Willstaetter
1918 - Fritz Haber
1921 - Albert Einstein
1922 - Niels Bohr
1925 - James Franck
1925 - Gustav Hertz
1943 - Gustav Stern
1943 - George Charles de Hevesy
1944 - Isidor Issac Rabi
1952 - Felix Bloch
1954 - Max Born
1958 - Igor Tamm
1959 - Emilio Segre
1960 - Donald A. Glaser
1961 - Robert Hofstadter
1961 - Melvin Calvin
1962 - Lev Davidovich Landau
1962 - Max Ferdinand Perutz
1965 - Richard Phillips Feynman
1965 - Julian Schwinger
1969 - Murray Gell-Mann
1971 - Dennis Gabor
1972 - William Howard Stein
1973 - Brian David Josephson
1975 - Benjamin Mottleson
1976 - Burton Richter
1977 - Ilya Prigogine
1978 - Arno Allan Penzias
1978 - Peter L Kapitza
1979 - Stephen Weinberg
1979 - Sheldon Glashow
1979 - Herbert Charles Brown
1980 - Paul Berg
1980 - Walter Gilbert
1981 - Roald Hoffmann
1982 - Aaron Klug
1985 - Albert A. Hauptman
1985 - Jerome Karle
1986 - Dudley R. Herschbach
1988 - Robert Huber
1988 - Leon Lederman
1988 - Melvin Schwartz
1988 - Jack Steinberger
1989 - Sidney Altman
1990 - Jerome Friedman
1992 - Rudolph Marcus
1995 - Martin Perl
2000 - Alan J. Heeger

Economics:
1970 - Paul Anthony Samuelson
1971 - Simon Kuznets
1972 - Kenneth Joseph Arrow
1975 - Leonid Kantorovich
1976 - Milton Friedman
1978 - Herbert A. Simon
1980 - Lawrence Robert Klein
1985 - Franco Modigliani
1987 - Robert M. Solow
1990 - Harry Markowitz
1990 - Merton Miller
1992 - Gary Becker
1993 - Robert Fogel

Medicine:
1908 - Elie Metchnikoff
1908 - Paul Erlich
1914 - Robert Barany
1922 - Otto Meyerhof
1930 - Karl Landsteiner
1931 - Otto Warburg
1936 - Otto Loewi
1944 - Joseph Erlanger
1944 - Herbert Spencer Gasser
1945 - Ernst Boris Chain
1946 - Hermann Joseph Muller
1950 - Tadeus Reichstein
1952 - Selman Abraham Waksman
1953 - Hans Krebs
1953 - Fritz Albert Lipmann
1958 - Joshua Lederberg
1959 - Arthur Kornberg
1964 - Konrad Bloch
1965 - Francois Jacob
1965 - Andre Lwoff
1967 - George Wald
1968 - Marshall W. Nirenberg
1969 - Salvador Luria
1970 - Julius Axelrod
1970 - Sir Bernard Katz
1972 - Gerald Maurice Edelman
1975 - Howard Martin Temin
1976 - Baruch S. Blumberg
1977 - Roselyn Sussman Yalow
1978 - Daniel Nathans
1980 - Baruj Benacerraf
1984 - Cesar Milstein
1985 - Michael Stuart Brown
1985 - Joseph L. Goldstein
1986 - Stanley Cohen [& Rita Levi-Montalcini]
1988 - Gertrude Elion
1989 - Harold Varmus
1991 - Erwin Neher
1991 - Bert Sakmann
1993 - Richard J. Roberts
1993 - Phillip Sharp
1994 - Alfred Gilman
1995 - Edward B. Lewis
1996- Lu RoseIacovino
TOTAL: 129!


The Jews are NOT promoting brain washing children in military training camps, teaching them how to blow themselves up and cause maximum deaths of Jews and other non Muslims. The Jews don't hijack planes, nor kill athletes at the Olympics, or blow themselves up in German restaurants. There is NOT one single Jew who has destroyed a church. There is NOT a single Jew who protests by killing people.

The Jews don't traffic slaves, nor have leaders calling for Jihad and death to all the Infidels.

Perhaps the world's Muslims should consider investing more in standard education and less in blaming the Jews for all their problems.

Muslims must ask 'what can they do for humankind' before they demand that humankind respects them.

Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and the Palestinians and Arab neighbors, even if you believe there is more culpability on Israel 's part, the following two
sentences really say it all:

'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel ." Benjamin Netanyahu

General Eisenhower Warned Us It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead.

He did this because he said in words to this effect:

'Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened'
 Recently, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust from its school curriculum because it 'offends' the Muslim population which claims it never occurred. It is not removed as yet. However, this is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the, 6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests who were 'murdered, raped, burned, starved, beaten, experimented on and humiliated' while the German people looked the other way..

Now, more than ever, with Iran , among others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

This e-mail is intended to reach 400 million people. Be a link in the memorial chain and help distribute this around the world.

How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center 'NEVER HAPPENED' because it offends some Muslim in the United States ?

Do not just delete this message; it will take only a minute to pass this along.

Although now in retrospect and the more I read it the more I realised how offensive it was, and to use HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL DAY, to put forward his views about Islam - and purporting very shady, biased views as 'facts' I thought was atrocious, and I didn't want to put down the e-mail in full but I will in the context you read it as something to comment about not pass on as a detailed dispassionate summary of some Islamic Conspiracy, of which the writer is trying to get away with her.

I replied to the person who forwarded this on to me with :

Seems extremely inaccurate and one sided on the side of muslim behaivour, I would hazard a guess that this article seems biased and has an anti-islamic agenda; its opinion not fact in the latter as the wording is emotive not impartial and therefore I won't be passing it on

I felt right in what I said, although very succinct, and felt vaguely irked and the true indoctrinated behaivour pattern of 'apathy' of 'not to say anything' crept into my mind, but I went along with it, expect mine and EDJ's friendship to end (like the family warns, - say anything confrontational, or that you passionately mean and expect to get chewed up and spat out!) .... but she came round, wow how rare, winning someone round!.... 

swift response from one of you, and another later with the same sentiments (and no doubt a third probably on its way!) has made me RE-THINK. I was hasty and misguided. Thank you. I'll be more pleased now if you don't pass Spanish writer's e-mail on! 

I've re-read it, considered the place it's coming from ... which is based on fear. What to do now? I've blessed the writer and the groups identified and imagined the response of the Love I happen to believe is the source of All, which of course is unconditional acceptance... and shared that with you, since I shared the first message. Mountain out of a molehill? Personally I don't think so!

I'm really grateful for your POTO (personal one to one) responses. That 'mass Must Forward' manipulation is so easy to get caught on when it's wrapped up under the 'injustice' label.

with love

Elizabeth

And there we are...make of it what you will! 

Toodle-Pip, and don't be evil!  

Einem Offenen Brief An Patty Dohle

Dearest Patty,
                     Thank-you so much for the last letter. It was nice for it covered a time-span which I was retrospectively influencing...., it's hard when one is so busy to keep it up (ooh er) but you've done me proud you little sherbert; of course with my festive laziness I missed the christmas post; and for some strange reason a feeling of lethargy and insomnia in equal measure have rendered me fat and useless to writing; so here we are at the only obvious conclusion, an open letter.

Now, I have never done one of these sort of things, and I wish I was a subtle person, who could be all clever and let it lie, and then if anyone else comes across this peculiar little blog, would say 'ooh he's written a letter to his friend, because they're pen-friends apparently, but it's public so it's all for us aswell and carries on his usual blog-stuff, isn't that clever, and he hasn't even made a thing of it, because he's so fucking nauseatingly quirky and clever :P' - something like that, ignore the end, it isn't self deprecation, promise!

Well there we are, there we are, it's a little at odds with what private stuff in your letter you may want to have transmitted, so I will again to the nausea; Ich war wirklich schockiert und verärgert an den über-Zahlung Sache, aussprechen aussprechen Fotzen und die Tatsache, dass sie nur auf, dass ohne Vorwarnung es wirklich nur klopft man für sechs! 


I liked the eight-legged santa drawing, most amusing. I did attempt my usual reply to be bundled along with some christmas gifts, but my ability to hold onto a fountain pen for more than five minutes, went wanting, I found the wax seal though, so that crisis is over! PHEW! - But of the paragraph I wrote it was mostly about writers being chronic masturbators so, y'know.

I am having a rather brilliant Christmas with my parents actually, first for everything, eh ;) hehehehe but perhaps some emotional maturity, wake-up calls, epiphena and all that jazz has caused a mellowing in this department. Ich habe eine sehr, sehr dumpfen Schmerz in der Grube meiner Seele über die Rückkehr zur Uni, die Bastarde zu konfrontieren und Konfrontation, positive und sich für mich, aber ich denke ich bin bereit, auch ich habe BEREIT SEIN!

It will be brilliant to see you just before we go back actually, because we can 'role-play' OH HELLO! - Giving one some balls, big fat hairy words! (Balls) - oh dear I am sleep deprived, I assume your drowning in the bath as we speak, as I type :P 


Oh sleepy, ergh, ergh, erm... erm.... oh Christ! - most people here would resort to some amusing videos and a crude drawing of something, dare I? Dare I? No, I shant take the easy route, like the suicide pills they give to spacemen on doomed missions, I'll plough through the wordy asteroid belt and get the Moonpad of 'Yours Sincerely' - oooh that's one of my better analogies. 


'OH JESUS CHRIST' as Edward Woodward would say, oh it's no use! Verdammt mich und meine unersättliche Wunsch zu gefallen Tag der Sonntag, ich wollte bis Montag warten, vielleicht werde ich eine spezielle Geburtstags Blog zu tun, ist, dass traurig, dass egozentrisch, oh Gott, oh golly YA Blocko'S! Nun da sind wir vielleicht ein wenig glanzlos ist, aber ich habe es für euch, und auch da sind wir, und Sie erhalten einen richtigen Brief in der Post zuvor meine Heimsuchung, und ich werde versprechen, es zu schreiben, wenn ich weniger schläfrig und / oder bis zu Tia Maria getankt, oh wann werde ich lernen!
Yours Sincerely
Simon xxxxxxx

P.S Here is the crude drawing and amusing video for good measure :P

The Day I Relieved Amanda Holden Of Her Face: An unbiased Meditation on Britain's Got Talent

In which two young rebels (or 'hooligans' as they are known as in D. Cameronland Inc.) Two translucent, immaciated and lanky figures known as Aldous and Barclay, or A and B for short, part of the Scheduling Terrorists Insurgent's, or S.T.I's, freedom fighters determined to liberate television in the not so distant future.







It is predicted that by 2020, Britain's Got Talent will account for 93% of television, with contestants rigged up to feeding tubes and chained to stages, filmed for up 22hours a day, whilst being branded with 'X's if they deem to fall below a desired audience appreciation level.







Many International Human Rights funds and protests have resulted in little more than sanctions.







It is interesting to note that The Government's bombing of Syria occured at the same time as the BGT 2013 Semi-Final... coincidence?




Screams were being heard from the dressing room. Jem, the shows new runner, pulled at her plastic necklace from Claire's Accessories with due anxiety. "What the frube was that??" She shrieked. "Oh that's just Holden having her stitches removed" Cowell said as he waddled past. His voice was ominously trembling since the Post-oesophageal Cancer he suffered in 2015, now using a voice-box aid, he sounded a lot like a retrograde robot, which certain Anti-Cameronland Inc. News-ports have commented on, quoting "that its high frequency pitch has caused ugly middle-aged women/children to immediately flush their bowels without warning".
Mr Herring-Bone Syrup was by the door smoking a salmon, bathed in sillohette and the overwhelming smell of fish. The long-time director of BGT since 2011, whose face has never been seen, stood, 8 foot tall. Some say he's an alien, others say he was a former property developer from Leatherhead, no-one quite knows. "Don't tell Martha about the electrodes, Barry" He screamed softly, then fell away. This was BGT-Soc codeword for guard The Holden. There had been so much extra security from lower-middle-class students, since the assassination of Piers Morgan three years ago; when unexpectadly the giant glass 'X' that suspended above him for all those many moons, the one he had so many a time lit up to admonish the performers who dutifully totted out for his paternal approval..., the double-glazed letter was shattered into a million razor-sharp shards that fell with speed, raining down onto Sir Piers, splitting his very atoms, miraculously, the practical skinning and disembowling didn't kill Mr Morgan, and he died eighteen months later, every moment spent in unbeleivable agony screaming in the private ward of St. Barts. They say if you stay at The Sir Piers Morgan Memorial Ward For Anal Warts you can still hear his ghost, puckering his lips.

'But what was Holden doing?' the re-elastication of her face didn't usually take that long (they had started using elephant scrotum skin-grafts, and it really gave the non-shimmer 'realism-face' look that was so popular.) The ominous squealching put Jem on edge. She fiddled with her Primark chunky bracelet for a moment, then, knocked on the door. "Mrs Holden-Prince Harry, is everything alright?", her heart was in her mouth, (metaphorically not literally), it was very against protocol to knock on the door of any one of the Holy Trinity. "Yes," came an obviously male voice with a silly 'I am doing a Woman's voice' warblyness emanated through the door. "Oh, is everything alright?" Jem asked playing along, her overplucked eyebrows arched up with very self-aware and bad 'oh I am playing along' acting. "Oh quite alright, dear just signing some pictures of me from that show I was in before I did this one, the name of which escapes me".

Jem burst through the door, ray-gun brandished. "No-one forgets Amanda Louise Holden's awe inspiring performance in Cutting It!" She shouted, but her jaw hit the floor, when she saw, the Laurence Olivier Theatre Award nomitated actress's face in a see-through freezer-bag. Her caved in skull along with the rest of her body, laid limply, with little sign of a struggle in her favourite chair, the corpse was dressed in a really nice little dress that looked fab!

The freezer-bag containing her face was held by a lanky pale boy, who must of been at least 11foot tall, he looked like a horse in human form and smelt like one too, wearing a gold-belt and four t-shirts; A stood heroically with his prize. His accomplice B stood shaking, holding the Ice-scraper and bloodied pizza-cutter in his hands, shaking, his eyes had seen the face of Jesus ripped from its very house.

"And just what the flippity jibber is going on in here?" Jem said with her hands on her hips, with all the authority and command of Ms Hooley from Balamory.

"Eeek, we've been discovered" Squeaked A,

"Quite" replied B.

"So, can someone explain, what have you boys been up to? Naughty, naughty boys"

I don't think Aldous and Barclay were particularly impressed by Jem's intonations because they shot her in the head sixteen times and exuented with the face.

*

"Good God and Stomach Acid!" Farted Mr Herring-Bone Syrup, when he saw the mess in Ms Holden's dressing room... he was distraught and even shed a tear (or two) out of one of his face eyes. He quickly regained his composure and belted out a rather tuneful but misguided reggae version of 'The Show Must Go On' before proceeding to commit to the idea of the notion of the fact that the show must go on.

"I need to replace her, but with what".

"What are you talking about?" A said from off-screen, so when Mr Herring-Bone syrup turns to look at what you, the audience can't see, you're already thinking "Whaaaa..." hehehe.... *cough* sorry....

Quite a sight assailed his eyes in fact, a 22foot high figure in a very long beige coat, it was in fact Aldous and Barclay, disguised in a long biege coat, with Amanda Holden's face precariously perched over his own face, selotaped on in fact. The silly 'woman's' voice had returned that cut no dry-ice with the late Jem.

"Oh there you are Amanda, quickly, I have no time to question the fact your faceless corpse is in the dressing room, or the fact you've grown another 16 foot, the show is about to begin, take to your special seat Pookie-whoreness" And with that sign-off Mr Herring-Bone Syrup flew out of the window with rocket-like speed.

Wierd Britain's Got Talent Theme Music remixed by Mark Ronson Featuring Vocals from Eamonn Holmes.

When Queen Elizabeth II went the way of her father with the lung cancer, in 2015, the nation went entirely numb, and it was allowed to broadcast all future shows of BGT live from Buckingham Palace, (and all future broadcasts of The Xtra (but not X) Factor from Balmoral, something that is trying to be dissolved by The Scottish Parliament).

AND NOW FOR THE BIG FINALE BIT:

So, it's been written into the annals of history, carved on the very bosom of Brittania with a rusty little carving-tool; you had 9/11 and 7/7, and 5/15, 1/1 1/2 6/13 etc., well added to ALL OF THAT, you now have The atrocity on BGT...

It all started off, Cowell was given his liquid morphine and was rather subdued, cooing to himself quietly, stroking his little beak. The Sock-Puppet portrayed by Dame Helena Bonham-Carter in the memory of Sir Piers Morgan was warming up the 40'000 strong audience all shipped in from Belmarsh and The Home Counties; the Amanda Doppleganger was in, unnoticed in the very thickness of it.

Gummed to A and B's liver, was enough plastic explosives to blow a hole in the side of Stephanie Meyer, pretty strong stuff to penetrate that bough.

Famously, although it has since been misreported, that the bomb went off during the singing chicken's from Bognor Regis, but actually after The Cole Enquiry six years later, it was revealed that the bomb was detonated by remote control, during The Self Flagulating St. Winnifred's schoolchildren's tribute to Slipknot.

*

Luckily, due to the idea that Aldous and B will be used again in some Misadventure possibly crucifying Jeremy Kyle, that they somehow escaped from this explosion, how, why and with whose help, therin lies the mystery.


[A little first draft of something silly]