Einem Offenen Brief An Patty Dohle

Dearest Patty,
                     Thank-you so much for the last letter. It was nice for it covered a time-span which I was retrospectively influencing...., it's hard when one is so busy to keep it up (ooh er) but you've done me proud you little sherbert; of course with my festive laziness I missed the christmas post; and for some strange reason a feeling of lethargy and insomnia in equal measure have rendered me fat and useless to writing; so here we are at the only obvious conclusion, an open letter.

Now, I have never done one of these sort of things, and I wish I was a subtle person, who could be all clever and let it lie, and then if anyone else comes across this peculiar little blog, would say 'ooh he's written a letter to his friend, because they're pen-friends apparently, but it's public so it's all for us aswell and carries on his usual blog-stuff, isn't that clever, and he hasn't even made a thing of it, because he's so fucking nauseatingly quirky and clever :P' - something like that, ignore the end, it isn't self deprecation, promise!

Well there we are, there we are, it's a little at odds with what private stuff in your letter you may want to have transmitted, so I will again to the nausea; Ich war wirklich schockiert und verärgert an den über-Zahlung Sache, aussprechen aussprechen Fotzen und die Tatsache, dass sie nur auf, dass ohne Vorwarnung es wirklich nur klopft man für sechs! 


I liked the eight-legged santa drawing, most amusing. I did attempt my usual reply to be bundled along with some christmas gifts, but my ability to hold onto a fountain pen for more than five minutes, went wanting, I found the wax seal though, so that crisis is over! PHEW! - But of the paragraph I wrote it was mostly about writers being chronic masturbators so, y'know.

I am having a rather brilliant Christmas with my parents actually, first for everything, eh ;) hehehehe but perhaps some emotional maturity, wake-up calls, epiphena and all that jazz has caused a mellowing in this department. Ich habe eine sehr, sehr dumpfen Schmerz in der Grube meiner Seele über die Rückkehr zur Uni, die Bastarde zu konfrontieren und Konfrontation, positive und sich für mich, aber ich denke ich bin bereit, auch ich habe BEREIT SEIN!

It will be brilliant to see you just before we go back actually, because we can 'role-play' OH HELLO! - Giving one some balls, big fat hairy words! (Balls) - oh dear I am sleep deprived, I assume your drowning in the bath as we speak, as I type :P 


Oh sleepy, ergh, ergh, erm... erm.... oh Christ! - most people here would resort to some amusing videos and a crude drawing of something, dare I? Dare I? No, I shant take the easy route, like the suicide pills they give to spacemen on doomed missions, I'll plough through the wordy asteroid belt and get the Moonpad of 'Yours Sincerely' - oooh that's one of my better analogies. 


'OH JESUS CHRIST' as Edward Woodward would say, oh it's no use! Verdammt mich und meine unersättliche Wunsch zu gefallen Tag der Sonntag, ich wollte bis Montag warten, vielleicht werde ich eine spezielle Geburtstags Blog zu tun, ist, dass traurig, dass egozentrisch, oh Gott, oh golly YA Blocko'S! Nun da sind wir vielleicht ein wenig glanzlos ist, aber ich habe es für euch, und auch da sind wir, und Sie erhalten einen richtigen Brief in der Post zuvor meine Heimsuchung, und ich werde versprechen, es zu schreiben, wenn ich weniger schläfrig und / oder bis zu Tia Maria getankt, oh wann werde ich lernen!
Yours Sincerely
Simon xxxxxxx

P.S Here is the crude drawing and amusing video for good measure :P